“Time ticks by; we grow older. Before we know it, too much time has passed and we’ve missed the chance to have had other people hurt us. To a younger me this sounded like luck; to an older me this sounds like a quiet tragedy.” -Douglas Coupland
I read these words this morning and a ping of emotion ran through me because I had copied this quote down in my journal, which I was going through before it was time to take my brother to school.
This is really hitting me right now. The feelings and emotions these words are eliciting from me are interesting. I believe this whole idea of Douglas to be true, absolutely true.
I’m a sad person. I’m not depressed 100% of the time and I’m not always wallowing in darkness in my room. I’m not laughing and skipping into the sunset either. I’m just a pretty melancholy person. Despite a whole range of issues which I will deem irrelevant to this post, I should like to believe that I have not been hurt often.
I’ve been hurt, yes. Back stabbed? Yes. Heartbroken? Yes. But I can probably count these experiences on one hand, maybe a finger or two from the other hand but that’s about it. Sure, it sounds great. I mean, it is great I suppose. Who wants to get hurt? No one I know.
It also sounds very boring.. and it feels that way too.
We were given a slew of emotions to exercise and feel and to use. When you’re not using them, what exactly are you doing? Personally I don’t think it’s a good thing to bottle up emotions and try to hide them away just for the sake of surviving another day. We are all going to make it through to the next day (hopefully, anything can happen right?) So why are we so afraid of being sad or getting hurt?
How are we supposed to experience this world without the risk of getting hurt, many times.
I resonate with Douglas because I’m young right now, I thrive on the fact that I don’t have it so hard in certain aspects of my life. But where’s the growth in that? Where am I learning and developing and figuring out who I am. Pain helps a person grow. It provides clarity and often a sense of direction as to where someone should head next.
Sure, it’s very lucky to have not been hurt by many people. But I would argue that it would be better to have experiences from a wide array of people rather than just have a blank canvas.
“Our fingerprints don’t fade from the lives we touch,” and with every person you meet and get to know, you eventually somehow or another, learn something from this person. Out of ever relationship you have whether it’s a parental, sibling, or romantic you’ll always have something to take a long with you wherever you go. Everyone you meet has a purpose for coming into your life.
We may not know what that purpose is, but I promise there is. I believe in fate and everything happens for a reason.
So why not allow people to hurt you? The answer sounds obvious and I’m not saying go open your heart to everyone just to knowingly have it broken, but if it does happen look at it as an experience to add to your existence.
I know 100% it’s easier said than done. I’ve been there at the point where I thought my world was crashing down, but once the pain subsided, I never felt better and more ready to take on the world and just gather all the information I could.
Never stop learning.
All I had wanted to do was to learn about everyone around me, learn more about myself as a person and to just explore this world with a childlike wonder. It was incredible and life was amazing.
I don’t know where that wanderlust went. I miss it and I hope to one day get back to where I was and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I stumbled upon this quote because I think I needed to see it, to hear it, to say it out loud. It’s a reminder, it’s a sign I’ve been looking for and I found it myself.
I never want to settle. I never want to become stagnant and lose my ambition. I want to always carry on and move forward and experience all that I can and make the most out of what’s around me. I only have this short time that I know will fly by before my eyes and I just want to make it worth watching.