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too late

i’m feeling all kinds of antsy right now and it’s making me very jittery and nervous. there’s just some things i’ll never be ready for no matter how hard i try to prepare myself. today is one of those days. i can’t say i haven’t been through this before, but i can say that the feeling is no good and i’m definitely feeling it right now. when will i ever get the hang of this? when will i ever not be so damn emotional about such minuscule things? i just want to get away.

as content as i am, i do sometimes wish i never mixed my entire life into this because before all this, i was able to stand as an individual and do what i wanted and be who i wanted. now, not so much. i’m not saying i hate it, but it definitely has its limitations on me but i guess that’s just what happens when i put myself in these kinds of situations.

the feeling of your insides churning and twisting is what i’m feeling right now. i hate it. just leave already so i can get through this faster.

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