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Tales of faded memories

I’m sitting here just thinking about how I managed to have made it to this point. Looking back at everything leading up to this moment and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed. I’m overwhelmed with emotions of happiness, loss, regret, relief, and that’s only to name a few. I’m thinking of all the potential I have, all the potential I had in the past and deciding whether or not I’m satisfied with the way I used it. I’m here in the now and I can’t really believe it. Am I satisfied? Am I happy? Are there things I want to change? Are there things I want to chase? What do I feel is missing from my life right now and how to I obtain what I need? I’m just spilling my thoughts to be honest. I took a long drive and listened to some music and just sat and let my thoughts consume me. I got emotional, of course. There were a lot of triggers and memories and feelings of pain but also happiness. Life is weird. These moments can feel so hopeless but they also let me see what’s really important in life. The small moments that bring a smile to my face or the music notes that remind me that this gig isn’t over yet and I need to keep keeping on because I’ve only got right now and I can’t miss whatever comes my way. I realized in the past hour that I miss a lot of people and I wish I had put more effort into certain relationships. I miss some of the really great people I grew up with and I just hope to reconnect with a few and catch up because I’m starting to realize that life is only as good as you make it and all I really want to do is love everyone. I don’t want to neglect any friendship or relationship I have because of work or whatever. I want to fully invest myself into being a good friend to everyone. That’s my goal in my lifetime. I just want to be a good friend to everyone because everyone deserves that. It’s a good feeling to see how beautiful the small things are compared to the bigger picture.

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