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thank you, but no thank you

i mean, i suppose it is my fault for putting myself in this position. i was doing so well. i was happy, free, and ready for anything. so why is it as something came my way, i lost all capacity to act? i don’t remember how to feel anymore. i’m crumbling at the seams and it’s all because of me. i’m not sure if i’m the one with the problem, but that doesn’t matter nonetheless. i’m here and i’m feeling this way and i’m not okay with it. things need to change because i’m done letting these feelings dictate who i am. i feel it manifesting inside and i need to stop it while i can. i will never let these feelings get the best of me again, i don’t deserve it. i know what i want and i know what i should be getting in return and that isn’t exactly the case right now, so it’s time to put my foot down and do something about it. on the contrary, this soft pain i feel makes for the best inspiration. it is when i’m emotional that i feel the most creative and powerful. it’s a catch-22 but i need to save myself while i can.

thank you, but no thank you.

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